“When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want?
Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?” – Max Lucado

Waiting. Waiting for my umbrella, ella, ella, e.

Okay, 8 more days. Another chance and then my brain will give up.
Please please please don’t let me down.

But truthfully? No matter how small the chance is, my heart just can’t stop hoping. And wishing.

What is wrong with me?

And you. You proved me right. You did exactly like I knew you would do, which is nothing.
That is horrible you know that? Horrible. YOU are horrible.

That’s when I realised

“Best friends are the people who make your problems their problems, just so you don’t have to go through them alone ♥”

I saw this on Twitter today. It’s so true, we really aren’t best friends. Rather, I’m not yours. Because I would have made your problem mine without even considering. And you? You placed yourself first, despite all my begging and pleading an crying.

It was such a small matter but yet…. So I can’t depend on you anymore. I always had, I always ran to you when I was happy or sad. I always believed that you would be the first to know about everything. Actually you’re just a fair weather friend. Who would listen, who could sympathise maybe, but when push comes to shove, no.

One day we can be friends again. When I would be able to forgive. After all, it’s such a small matter. Already I might be seen as petty for wen being disappointed. When my parents saw my tears they demanded to know what happened, and who you were. I refused to tell them, because I didn’t want them to think badly of you. I only told my sister, and she was so shocked. Because she had once asked me who would be my 10 friends I was sure would still be my friends 10 years later, and you were first on the list. Without even considering I said you.

I suppose we are too different. What I would have done for you in a heartbeat, instead you had to mull over it an entire day and say “No.”

But I won’t forget about it. And I have lost my best friend, no doubt about that. Maybe you weren’t even the best friend from the very start.

I can’t believe this. How stupid it is.

Seems like I always get what I don’t want.

I hate the waiting. I hate the chasing. I hate the not knowing.

Most of all, i hate the endings.

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” – e.e. cummings (via dream-out-loud)

“Passing tests doesn’t begin to compare with searching and inquiring and pursuing topics that engage us and excite us. That’s far more significant than passing tests and, in fact, if that’s the kind of educational career you’re given the opportunity to pursue, you will remember what you discovered.” – Noam Chomsky on the purpose of education. (via explore-blog)

If Super Junior Got Youtube Accounts Leeteuk: Would keep ELF updated on many Super Junior events. He would also upload videos of him practicing on being an MC in the restroom.
Heechul: Upload videos of him playing with his cat, him talking, and some reaction videos toward the Wonder Girls.
Sungmin: Will upload at months at a time. He'll play guitar and take videos of the members being weird proving his normality.
Yesung: Uploads videos of the members philtrum up close when they're asleep.
Eunhyuk: Makes AMV's of all his favorite animes.
Siwon: Takes videos of all the places he visits and tells every single person he passes by to have a glorious day.
Donghae: Uploads videos of all his pranks he pulls on all the other members... and by other members mostly Eunhyuk.
Ryeowook: Takes videos of him with his hyungs and what they do during their spare time.
Kyuhyun: Uploads one video. Never uploads another one again.
Henry: Uploads videos of him playing the guitar, violin, and piano... most of them with Amber.
Zhou Mi: Makes a helpful fashion blog. Keeping all his subscribers up on the daily fashions and fashion tips on how to look fabulous everyday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!